Confusion
by Charmed8620
Summary: What will happen when a student steals Giles' identity and Buffy doesn't know it? Please Review!
1. Chapter 1: Betrayal

Chapter 1:

"Buffy" Giles said as he caught up to her and the rest of the gang who were strolling along the street. "Yes Giles?" she asked turning to greet him with a smile, "Not more work on a Saturday, I presume?" "Unfortunately, yes" Giles said as he adjusted his glasses, "But Giles," Buffy pleaded, giving him her biggest puppy eyes.

"We were planning to go to the Bronze tonight." Shaking his head, Giles said, "I'm afraid that's going to have to wait. This is rather important. I'm worried that some of the vampires in Sunnydale are finding ways to move about during the daylight hours." "Really?" Buffy said, beginning to sound somewhat interested.

"Yes," Giles said, "And I believe it is imperative that we go look into it." Buffy sighed, looking at the man who had always been her father figure, "Alright," turning to look at her friends, she said, "You guys go ahead and have fun at the Bronze without me tonight." Turning to Giles she said, "When do you want to meet?" "Meet me at the library at five thirty." "Fine" Buffy said as she turned to go with her friends.

From across the street, a young man had been watching their entire conversation from a table outside a café. "Five thirty" He said with a grin, "That sound's perfect." The young man's name was Evan, he had been watching Buffy from a distance school for years, but she had never noticed him, but now it would be different, he thought, "Now she'll notice me for sure." As Giles got into his car and drove away, Evan got up and began to walk towards the library.

"Hello" Evan called as he entered the library and headed towards Giles' office, "Anybody here?" "Yes, coming" Giles called from inside his office. As he stepped into the open library and noticed Evan, Giles said, "Oh, hello Evan. What can I do for you today." "You can lend me your identity" Evan said as he covered Giles' nose and mouth with a gas rag. "Alright then" Evan said as he dragged Giles body across the floor towards his car.

"What in the bloody hell is going on!" Giles asked as he awoke tied to a chair in some sort of basement "Calm down" Evan said lightly as he rummaged through a rack of spices lined up on the wall, "I'm not going to hurt you." "Then why do you have me tied up!" Giles yelled, "I don't feel the need to let you in on all of my plans, thank you. I do request that you quiet down though" "I will not bloody be quiet!" Giles screamed, "You kidnapped me from my own office in the school's library!"

"Very well" Evan said as he got out a handkerchief and gagged Giles. "Know that I have quiet, I can begin my spell." Taking down a book of dark magic from the wall, Evan began to read lines that sounded like ancient Greek. After finishing the spell, he took a drink of the potion he had been making out of the spices on the wall, and then walked over to the mirror and examined himself. "It will take a minute to take effect" he said slowly, "But once it does I shall have all that I ever wanted."

Looking over at Giles he explained, "You see, no one has ever really noticed me. None of the beautiful girls have talked to me or asked me out, but now, now I will have the most beautiful girl in the entire school. As you will begin to notice, this potion will transform me into your exact image and voice, and when the transformation is complete, I can put my plan into action." With that Evan, now transforming into Giles' appearance, left the gagged Giles thoroughly confused, and headed up the stairs to the door.

As he sat at the library, waiting for Buffy to show up, Evan began to wonder if his plan would actually work. He had carefully thought out every detail, planning the exact voice and appearance, practicing Giles' speech patterns, studying his clothing, but would it be enough? He wasn't sure. The longer he waited for Buffy to show up, the more nervous he got. Buffy and Giles were very close, and in order for him to get away with his plan and have the blame placed on Giles, he needed for Buffy to believe that the was Giles. His entire plan rested on this one facet.

Just then, Buffy walked through the door wearing a rather short skirt and a tight pink blouse, "Hey Giles" she said with a smile, "Ready to go kick some vampire butt?" Evan almost dropped his jaw at the sight of her, she was so beautiful, luckily he remembered his pretenses just at the last second managing to stutter out, "You're, uh, you're wearing that patrolling?" At least she believed he was Giles, that was a very good thing, "Don't have a cow Giles, I just wanted to be ready to go meet the gang at the Bronze after getting rid of the big nasties. Okay?"

Evan knew that Giles normally would have made some sort of remark, but he couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was. "Giles?" Buffy said watching him stare blankly at her, "Can we go know?" "Oh, yes, of course Evan said as he regained his composure, "I have the car parked out back, it shouldn't take to long to get there." "Where is there?" Buffy asked as they walked towards the car, "Right around the old factory" Evan answered as they buckled in and began to drive.

"Giles," Buffy said as they drove past the old factory, "Didn't you say we were headed to the old factory?" "No, I said we were headed to around the old factory." "Oh" Buffy said quietly as se wondered why Giles was being so sharp with her. Finally when they were about fifteen minutes past the factory Evan stopped the car in front of an old beat up looking house. As they began to get out of the car, Buffy said, "So is this the vampires hide out or something?"

"Or something" Evan said distractedly as he walked around the back of the car, stopping to pull something out of the trunk. "So what are we doing here exactly?" Buffy asked as she looked around at there surroundings. "You'll see," he said as he walked up closer to her and quickly covered her nose and mouth with a gas rag. "Giles, what?" Buffy cried out in confusion as she collapsed in his grasp. Knowing that with her slayer strength and healing he didn't have much time before she woke up, Evan dragged Buffy inside as quickly as he could.

An hour later, Evan had barely finished tightening all of the chains on Buffy's arms and legs when she began to wake up. "Giles?" she asked in a state of uncertainty as she felt her head spinning, "Where are we?" "Shh," Evan said soothingly, "Don't worry about a thing, I'll be right back." He then began to head down he stairs into the basement where the real Giles was sitting. As he headed down the stairs he heard the voice of a more awake Buffy call, "Giles, what's going on!" He could hear the mixture of fear and anger in her voice, and he knew that he needed to be sure his appearance kept up or she would probably kill him once he let her go. Once he reached the basement, Evan saw the real Giles staring at him.

Giles was certain that he had heard Buffy's voice upstairs, but he couldn't understand what was going on. He'd tried to call out to her when she'd called his name, but the gag kept him from making any noise loud enough for her to hear. Just then, Evan had come down the stairs looking exactly like him, and he finally realized that Buffy thought that Evan was him.

"Hello Giles" Evan said in a harsh whisper, "I can't very well have you alerting Buffy to my presence, so I'll have to do something about you." As he said it Evan picked up a needle off of one of the shelves and began to tap it with his finger. "This may hurt a tiny bit," Evan said as he stuck the needle into Giles' arm and began to empty its contents, "But the pain will go away quickly." Evan dropped the needle on the ground and went over to the shelf with his potion on it, and began to drink more of the image potion. As he did so, Giles struggled to stay awake, his head was swimming and somewhere in the back of his mind he heard Buffy yelling for him to answer her. Seeing that Giles was almost unconscious, Evan headed back up the stairs to deal with the Slayer.

Buffy had taken time to examine her surroundings while Giles/Evan was downstairs. She was chained by her wrists and ankles to a wall in what looked like a run-down kitchen. To her right was the main part of the "kitchen", there was a stove with a rusty cooking pot sitting on to, and a refrigerator that looked like it hadn't been used since 1985. The counter wrapped around the whole kitchen and came to an end about four feet in front of her, forming a divider between the kitchen and the front door which was sitting about ten feet away from her. Directly to her left was a small table and chairs, and just behind that was a rather emptying looking living room with a couple of run down chairs and a small old TV. Having finished her examination of the room, Buffy heard the man she believed to be Giles coming back up the stairs.

"Giles, what the hell is going on?" Buffy yelled at him as he came back to the top of the stairway. Slowly taking his time as he closed the door behind him, Evan walked over to the refrigerator, and got out an apple, then he strolled over to a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out knife. Finally, he sat on the edge of the kitchen counter a couple feet away facing her. "Don't worry Buffy, I'm not going to hurt you" he said looking at her cheerfully as he cut his apple, "As if you could" she scoffed.

"I'm not the one in chains here Buffy" he said with a rather stern look, and true enough Buffy had already tried to pull out of her chains without any luck, she couldn't even move her arms or legs an inch they were so tight. Trying to gain control of the situation Buffy said, "Is this something the Council put you up to? Because if it is, I'll go kick their butts for you personally, you don't have to do what they say, I'll…"

"Buffy" Evan interrupted as he stood up from the counter and put down his apple and knife, "This is not something the council put me up to, I just thought that we needed to talk." "And this is your idea of talking!" Buffy yelled as she began to feel even worse, she couldn't understand how Giles could possible have been doing this on purpose.

"Yes Buffy," Evan said, remembering as hard as he could to maintain his Giles façade, "I just wanted to talk with you about us," "Us?" Buffy asked feeling a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, "Us" Evan repeated as he put his hand gently on her cheek, "Where we're going with our relationship" he said as he began to gently move his thumb over her lip, she was so beautiful. "Giles?" Buffy practically whimpered, she did not like the turn that this conversation had taken one bit.

"Giles, I don't think…" she began, but she was cut off as he leaned in and kissed her deeply on the mouth. She was so shocked that she opened her mouth to yell at him, but as she did so, he stuck his tongue into her mouth and down her throat. She tried to move her hands to hit him away, but she couldn't budge. She felt like someone was sticking a bulldozer down her throat, she tried to move her head to the side, but his hands held her firmly. Finally in a final effort to get him to stop, she bit his tongue hard.

Immediately withdrawing from her mouth Evan took a step back to look at her, "Why you little bitch!" he yelled as he raised his hand and struck her hard across the face, leaving a sound that resonated throughout the entire house. "Don't you ever do that again!" Determined not to let him see her cry, Buffy held back her tears and looked him straight in the eyes, she couldn't believe that Giles had just done that. Giving him the fiercest look she could muster, Buffy spit, "If you don't want me to do that again, then don't ever, ever, try to kiss me again."

"Why you arrogant little brat" Evan snapped, losing all pretext of Giles, he didn't care if she thought Giles would never act that way, because the truth was that Giles never would act that way, but he wanted what he wanted, and he was going to get it. Walking back to the kitchen counter, Evan grabbed the knife that he had been cutting the apple with. He walked back over to Buffy and shoved the knife up under her throat, causing her to gasp involuntarily.

"Now kiss me" he said as he held the knife up to her throat. When she kept her mouth shut tightly, Evan pushed harder into her throat drawing the slightest drop of blood, "Kiss me, damn it!" he screamed at her. Knowing that she had no choice other than to kiss him or quite possibly have him kill her, Buffy opened her mouth.

This time his kiss showed no trace of the, however small, amount of gentleness of the first. Evan had given up trying to make her happy; he only wanted to be satisfied himself. "Kiss me back" he hissed as he pushed harder onto her mouth, and she had not choice but to respond, moving her tongue with his. He kissed her with the longing of years of watching beautiful girls from the sidelines. He shoved his tongue down her throat with a fervent need, as if this one kiss could cure all his years of hurt. Buffy, though, felt none of this. She only felt Giles, her Giles, forcing himself upon her and making her feel sick.

After what seemed like hours to Buffy he finally pulled away from the kiss. "Now," he said looking at Buffy with a stern and scolding glance, "I'm going to set the knife down, but it is still within my reach, so don't try anything funny." With that he set the knife on the table to his right, just within his grasp. "Giles please," Buffy said in a voice that sounded amazing close to pleading, "Don't do this." "Buffy," Evan said with a smile, "It's too late to stop now."

Downstairs while unconscious, Giles was dreaming. In his dream he saw Willow. "Hello Willow" Giles said with something close to a laugh. He knew that he was dreaming, and since he was starting to see figments, he was probably close to the border between life and death. He was unsure of what Evan had injected into him, but he was pretty sure that it would kill him. "Have you come to watch me die?" Giles asked the figment Willow with a rather girlish giggle. "Snap out of it Giles" figment Willow said in a stern voice, "You're not dying, you're just asleep. Otherwise I couldn't have contacted you with this mind spell."

"Mind spell!" Giles asked sharply, suddenly jolting out of his thoughts of death. Even in a dream, Giles knew that Willow should not be trying something as dangerous as mind spells. "I'm sorry, I know you don't think that I should be trying this, but I had to see if you were all right." "Well I do need you help, but how did you know that I wouldn't be all right?" "Well," Willow began, "Now don't get mad at us or anything, "But Buffy promised she'd meet us at the Bronze, or that if she couldn't she would call us within thirty-minutes of the time you guys were supposed to meet. And it's been almost four hours." As she finished saying this Willow's image began to fade a little bit.

Looking down at her hands, Willow said, "Giles, I don't think that I can hold this mind spell for much longer. Can you tell me where you are so that the gang and I can come and get you?" "Of course" Giles said as he watched Willow continue to fade. After he finished giving her directions, Giles was just about to add that he had a double when Willow disappeared, and Giles felt himself slipping back into a state of delirium.

Having had his fill of kissing her, Evan felt that it was time for him to move on. As he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a roll of duct tape from one of the drawers, Evan said, "I'm getting tired of your prattle Buffy," and giving her one final, deep kiss he said, "So I'm going to take care of it." With that he covered her mouth with a piece of duct tape and threw the roll aside. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy" he said as he looked up and down her body, "You truly are beautiful." He moved his hand to stroke her long beautiful golden locks, and then slowly move his face in to kiss her neck.

He continued to kiss down her collarbone, unbuttoning her blouse as he went. Enjoying the taste and feel of her skin, he slowly move from one spot the next, sucking gently as he went. Once he had had his fill of her scent and taste, Evan no longer felt the need to be gentle. He shoved his hands up under her blouse, feeling the skin along her back as he kissed her. He ran his hands over every inch of her skin, unable to resist her. Then he ripped open her blouse and ran his tongue over the curves of her breasts, taking no time to appreciate the black lacey bra she wore under her blouse, he grabbed the knife and ripped it open setting the knife back on the table. He kissed her and squeezed her hard, then ran his mouth over her perfectly shaped breasts.

Getting on his knees, he ran his hands up her long beautiful legs, kissing behind as he went. When he got to her skirt he pushed it up and kissed along the curve of her hips. Finally, unable to wait any longer he forced himself into her. Causing her to cry out in pain, both physical and emotional. As he pumped faster and faster until he moaned with pleasure, tears began to stream down Buffy's cheeks uncontrollably.

When he finally pulled out of her and went to clean himself up, Buffy's sobs consumed her. She felt dirty, contaminated, and she felt even worse knowing that Giles had done this to her. She had trusted him, she had put herself in danger to save him so many times, and she probably would have died for him. And this, this horrible and sickening act was how he repaid her. She felt as if she had would rather have died than had this happen. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more sure she became. She would rather have died thinking that Giles, the person she had trusted most in the world, was who she thought he was, then have lived to find out that he was the monster she now knew.

Having cleaned himself up and gotten dressed, Evan headed back into the front room. Now he had to enact the most crucial part of his plan, he had to be sure she believed he was Giles and no one else. He knew that he didn't have much time until the potion wore off, so ten minutes of talking ought to do it. As he appeared before the sobbing Buffy, Evan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she shook with wrath and horror, and whispered to her, "You have no clue how long I've wanted to do that for," and then giving her a rather malicious smile he said, "And it was more than worth it."

Standing in front of her, he decided to give her one last kiss, and leaned in to kiss her on the neck. At that exact moment, the front door burst open to reveal Willow, Xander, and Oz holding stakes and crossbows, all of whom froze at the sight before them. Willow dropped her stake she was so shocked, they saw Buffy chained to the wall with duct tape over her mouth, tears down her face, and clothes ripped to shreds, with Giles leaning over her. Xander was the first to recover, running up top Evan/Giles and punching him in the face so that he fell to the ground. "You bastard!" Xander screamed as he kicked him in the stomach, "You mother fucking bastard! How dare you touch her!"

Willow and Oz soon recovered their senses as well, and came to Xander's aid. Oz went to keep Xander from killing Giles, for all that he felt like doing it himself, and Willow ran to help Buffy. She apologized as she ripped the duct tape painfully from Buffy's mouth, and then went to search for a way to get her out. She searched the kitchen counter and found the key to Buffy's chains, undoing them as quickly as possible.

When she had finished, Buffy quickly covered her mouth and ran out the door. When Willow followed, she found Buffy curled up in a ball having thrown up all the contents of her body. "Oh sweetie" Willow cried as she took off her jacket and laid it over Buffy's non-existent clothing. "Oh Wil" Buffy said with a sob a she leaned in to Willow's shoulder a proceeded to sob uncontrollably. She cried for multiple minutes, until they heard Oz call from inside, "You guys, might want to come and see this!"

Putting on Willow's coat and heading back inside, Buffy was shocked by what she saw. Xander was holding a young man pinned to the floor and Giles was nowhere to be seen. "Where, where's Giles?" Buffy stuttered. "I was holding him right here and beating the crap out of him, when suddenly he turned into looking like this." "What, Xander," Buffy looked around the room as she started to get dizzy, "Willow, Oz, I can't deal with, I don't understand," Buffy was unable to finish her sentence before she fell into a dead faint


	2. Chapter 2: Consequences

Chapter 2:

When she woke up, Buffy found herself in a white hospital room, there were flowers next to her bed and sun was streaming in through the open curtains on the windows. Rolling onto her side, Buffy saw Rupert Giles lying in the bed next to hers. Without meaning to Buffy let out an involuntary scream that brought Xander and Willow running from the hallway, "What is it? What happened?" Willow asked as she went to the bed and held Buffy's hand as she shook.

"I just, I just" Buffy said as she stared at Giles' bed, "Oh" Xander said, "Willow, she still doesn't know what actually happened." "What? Tell me" Buffy said frantically. "Calm down" Willow soothed her, and then between herself and Xander they proceeded to tell Buffy about their communication spell with Giles, and how their interrogation of the young man Giles had turned into provided many answers.

They told her about the potion, about his kidnapping Giles, about Giles being unconscious the whole time, and that his name was Evan, and with the threat of Willow casting a spell on him, they had forced him to go and confess to the police. Buffy sat patiently as she could the whole time, trying to absorb what they were saying, what it meant as far as Giles was concerned, what it might or might not change in her feelings.

Finally when they had finished their story, Buffy whispered, "Who knows?" "You mean who knows what happened?" Willow asked kindly, and at the slight nervous nod from Buffy, Xander said, "No one yet, well other than myself and Oz and Willow. We wanted you to choose who you tell, and how much you tell them." "Thank you" Buffy said with tears in her eyes. "So that means that Giles doesn't know." "Right" Willow said kindly.

Somehow that made Buffy feel better, she felt that perhaps if she could protect Giles from the truth it never would have happened. "I would prefer that we don't tell him, or anyone else" "But Buffy," Willow interjected kindly, "He knows that something happened, he was kidnapped and drugged, after all." "All right" Buffy sighed, "But let's just tell him that Evan knocked me out, tied me up, and then slapped me. I mean it's the truth, sort of." Seeing the skeptical looks that Xander and Willow were giving her she added, "Please, I'm just not ready to deal with this yet."

"Alright" Xander said, but Willow still looked worried, "Buffy, what if you were to die someday and he never knew what happened? He deserves better." "Alright Willow," Buffy said trying to be strong, "What if I let you use a spell in my mind to extract an exact copy of the memory, and if I die you have my permission to show Giles? Would that work?" Buffy wasn't entirely sure if she was being sarcastic or not, but when Willow responded with and enthusiastic yes, Buffy had no choice but to let her perform the spell.

After they had left, Buffy fell back asleep and when she awoke, she heard Giles talking to the nurse and asking about her, so she had to pretend to still be sleeping, or he would want to see her.

Buffy couldn't avoid going back to her life forever, and was eventually forced to leave the hospital when she was recovered. It had been three days since her encounter with Evan, although she still felt as though Giles had been the one that had done those things to her. Buffy had been able to put off her mother, telling her that she was fine, and that she had simply been slapped rather hard on the face, after all she did have the bruises and even a scab on her neck where the knife had been, since the damage looked bad, she could simply use it as an alibi to cover the truth. Buffy had begun to wonder why her slayer healing had not truly kicked in, her bruises were just as bad as any normal person's would have been, both on her face and the rest of her body.

Eventually she had gotten so worried about it that she had asked Willow what it could mean, and since Willow was not sure, Buffy had gotten talked into meeting with Giles to talk about her slayer strength. That was why she now found herself, a week and a half after her encounter, sitting back in the school library, about to meet the man she had most wanted to avoid for the rest of her life. Willow had come along with her for support, but it didn't make Buffy feel any better.

"Buffy, how are you?" Giles asked with a smile as he came into the library, "I haven't had a chance to see you since Evan kidnapped me," as he walked closer to her Giles noticed her face and said, "those bruises look pretty bad, do you feel ok?" "I'm fine," Buffy said, brushing off his attempt to place his hand on her shoulder by standing up, then seeing the look on Willow's face she added "The bruises though are actually why we came to talk to you."

"Yes?" Giles said as his expression moved into scholar mode, "What about the bruises?" "Well," Buffy began, but as she looked into Giles' eyes and was forced to look away, she felt that she couldn't talk anymore. Luckily, Willow intervened and continued, "What Buffy was saying is that her slayer healing hasn't been working recently. Those bruises are just as bad as they were a couple of days ago, and we're worried about what could be causing it. Any ideas? Do you think that she might loose her slayer strength as well?"

After a moment of though Giles said, "Well, I'm not sure. I've heard of cases where slayer's have lost their healing after a traumatic experience, it's something like their subconscious doesn't want to heal, it's been said that they actually want to die. And in many cases they do die, they are unable to heal fast enough to continue their slaying duties and one demon or another kills them." Seeing the mortified look on Willow's face Giles quickly added, "But that's not Buffy's case she gets beat up all the time, so this recent experience couldn't have been as traumatic as to make her want to die, right?"

Seeing Willow avoid his gaze and not finding Buffy's reply to be nearly as authentic as he would hope, Giles said nervously, "Unless there's something you're not telling me?"

Well," Willow said as she shot a nervous look in Buffy's direction, "Actually," "Actually there's nothing to tell." Buffy cut her off sharply, "Buffy" Willow said in a pleading tone, they both knew that Giles needed to be told, but as Buffy tried to tell Giles she couldn't do it. Finally she opted for a partial truth, "He held a knife to my throat and said some awful things, that's all." "And was that very traumatizing for you?" Giles asked in a confused voice, "It's just that I thought it was you doing all of those things," Buffy said as tears began to spill down her face, she was no longer thinking about the knife, but about all of the other things Evan had done, "And I just couldn't understand how someone I had trusted for so long would do that."

As Buffy turned her head into Willow's shoulder to get herself under control, Giles shot a very confused glance at Willow. He simply couldn't understand how Buffy, his Buffy who had faced death endless times and been beaten beyond imagination daily, could be reacting so strongly to a few insults and a bruised face. It simply didn't make any sense. Giles was pulled from his thoughts when Willow said, "Why don't you go home and lie down Buffy, Giles and I will do some research here." When Buffy agreed, Giles' confusion rose to an entirely new level, Buffy never did anything that anyone told her too, even Willow.

When Buffy had gathered up all of her things and left, Giles turned on Willow, "Alright, what is going on?" Willow looked at the door and shuffled her feet as she whispered, "I can't tell you Giles," "What?" Giles asked not having heard her, "I can't tell you" she said looking up at him, "It's…" "Why not!" Giles interrupted thinking that Willow didn't trust him, "Have I ever done anything not to deserve your trust?"

"No, No!" Willow said quickly, "It's not that, it's just that Buffy made me promise I wouldn't tell, and I have to honor that promise." "Fine," Giles said feeling hurt that Buffy didn't trust him, "But I can't guarantee that I can help if I don't know all of what is going on." "Alright, I'll try to convince her to tell you," Willow said worried for both Buffy's well being and Giles' peace of mind, "Bt you know Buffy as well as I do, she can be very stubborn.

"Buffy?" Willow said quietly as she knocked on the door to Buffy's room, "Can I come in?" "Sure Wil" Buffy said from her bed where she was sitting cross-legged and holding her pillow, "What did you find out?" Looking at her sitting on her bed seeming so small and insignificant, Willow realized for the first time just how helpless and alone Buffy seemed, and it scared her.

Trying to keep her fear for Buffy out of her voice Willow said, "We haven't really found anything yet. Giles thinks it may be some sort of disease and he wants to take a blood sample," "Okay, that's progress" Buffy said sitting up a little straighter, "But Buffy," Willow said gently, "What if Giles' first idea was correct, what if it has to do with your…"

"Trauma?" Buffy suggested sarcastically, "Face it Wil, if neither one of us can even say what happened to me, there's no way that I'm ready to tell him yet." "Then what should we do?" Willow asked despairingly as she sat down next to Buffy, "If we don't tell him, you could…you could…" "Die?" Buffy said with a laugh, the first in many days, "Willow," Buffy said touched by her friend's concern, "I face death every day, this is no different."

"But it is," Willow said pleadingly, "You don't have your slayer healing anymore, and if you don't tell Giles the truth, something awful could happen." "Look Wil" Buffy said kindly as she set the pillow down and began to feel herself going back into her old habits of protecting Willow, "Why don't I go do this blood test thing, just to see if maybe I am sick, and then I promise that I will tell him soon. Okay?" "Alright" Willow said uncertainly as she leaned in to give Buffy a hug, "Just be careful, okay?" "Okay Willow, I promise."

The next day, Buffy once again found herself waiting for Giles in the library. This time she was by herself, Willow had had to go to an appointment, and although Xander had offered to come with her, Buffy knew that he too was still harboring angry feelings towards the innocent Giles. So, in order to keep Xander from accidentally running his mouth or hurting Giles, Buffy had come to meet him alone. As she waited and looked around the library, Buffy tried to remember all of the good times that she, the gang, and even Giles, especially Giles, had spent here.

She remembered all of the laughs and sorrows that they had faced together, Giles had been her rock, he had helped her through all of the hard battles and tough family issues that she had been through. Yet even these memories seemed sour when she thought of all of the things she had felt while chained up in that awful place. She knew that as long as Giles remained blind to the truth, she would never be able to work out her emotions, and there would always be an unbridgeable gap in their relationship, but even knowing this, Buffy could not even imagine bringing herself to tell him the truth. If he knew the truth, it could destroy him, and to see him destroyed would her.

As she was deep in her thoughts, Giles came into the main part of the library from his office, and saw Buffy staring into space. He observed her for a moment, seeing the pain in her eyes as well as something else, something that looked a lot like fear. When he approached her, Giles said, "Buffy?" as he laid his hand on her shoulder.

She jumped rather shakily, and quickly stood up from the table, causing his hand to slide from her shoulder. "Are you ready to draw the blood?" Buffy asked in a very businesslike manner without any of the caring he normally heard in her voice when they talked. "I'm almost ready, I just need to take a closer look at your face to see what type of tests I ought to perform." "Okay" Buffy said maintaining her businesslike tone as he observed her bruises from a couple feet away.

After a moment she saw his scholarly manner fade and she saw it replaced by the fatherly caring that she had so often seen him use. "Those bruises really do look painful," he said with a sigh, "What happened to your lip?" he asked as he ran his thumb over her recently bloodied and raw lower lip. She had spent the last week biting hard on her lip to try and control her painful emotions, but now when her emotions were whirling in her head, Buffy was unable to bite her lip because Giles had his thumb there. She felt herself beginning to shiver uncontrollably at his gentle touch, remembering the last time that Giles/Evan had run his finger over her lip.

Finally her emotions and shivering became so strong that she was forced to turn around and face away from Giles. No matter how good his intentions were, her first reactions were still those created and lodged in her memory on that fateful afternoon. "Buffy," Giles began feeling truly worried about her, but she cut him off saying in a quiet and pained voice, "Why don't you just draw the necessary blood, okay?" Torn between his confusion and want to help Buffy, and her obvious need to forget what had just happened, Giles decided to simply drop the subject for the moment and find out later.

When he had finished all of the tests, and Buffy was getting ready to leave, Giles said, "Buffy," "Yes?" she asked in her still professional manner, "I just want you to know that you can trust me, and I'm here for you, whatever it is that you're not telling me, okay?" Turning to face him and dropping her professional pretense for the first time since she had come back from the run down house, Buffy said sincerely, "I know Giles, and I will tell you eventually, I'm just not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know that I do trust you, the real you, it's just complicated in my mind as to where to draw the that line." With that she attempted to smile at him, and walked out the door. As he followed her with his gaze, Giles felt himself both comforted and confused by her message, he didn't understand why she had reacted so strongly to his worried touch, nor did he understand what line she was referring to.

The next day, Buffy was angry, she was angry with Giles for not knowing the truth, she was angry with Willow for pitying her, but mainly she was angry with herself and her inability to tell Giles the truth. The more she thought about it the more she knew that he had to know, he was her watcher, and more importantly, he was her friend. It would be hard to tell him, she knew that, but she had to do it eventually. It would never work between them as watcher and slayer if she couldn't stand to have him touch her, or even look into his eyes.

Buffy wanted to go back to their old ways, their old habits, their old relationship, but she knew that she could never truly go back to that place. Their relationship would have to adapt, maybe they would go to therapy together, she had no idea, but somehow she had to fix what had happened to her, to them. She knew that the first step to fixing things was to tell him the truth, but that idea still hurt, she still felt the tear inside of her heart that has been caused by what she had thought was Giles' betrayal. How she could ever get passed something like that, something so personal, so painful, Buffy didn't know, but she knew that she would have to.

As Buffy sat in her bedroom with these thoughts whirring through her head, she decided that she needed to get out; she couldn't deal with everything right then. Without telling her mother where she was going, Buffy put on her workout pants and a T-shirt and headed out to patrol. As she walked the streets of Sunnydale, Buffy began to question her decision. She began to think that maybe she shouldn't tell Giles, if she did there was no telling how he would react, he might not even want to see her again. Even if he did want to see her, it would kill him to know what she thought he had done.

It was with these thoughts in her head that Buffy didn't see the vampire come up from behind her. He hit her over the head with a wooden board sending her flying across the alleyway. After a moment she stood up to try and fight him, without her slayer healing though, she was unable to see clearly and her head was spinning like crazy. Even in such a state, Buffy landed couple of good punches and kicks, she had the vampire on the ropes and was about to stake him when another vampire came up from behind her and picked her up. He threw her across the alley like a rag doll and she landed against a piece of rebar that stuck out of the adjacent wall. After a surprised and ragged gasp, Buffy slipped off of the rebar and collapsed into a heap in the alley. The vampires were getting ready to feed on her when a florescent sign of a nearby club turned on, shining light directly on her and causing the vampires to retreat and find another victim.

It was Xander who found her later that evening after hearing from Joyce who said that Buffy had gone out and she was worried about her. Xander had immediately headed out to help her patrol while she was in such a delicate state. By the time that he found her in the alley, Buffy was surrounded by a pool of blood, and her breathing was irregular. By the time that an ambulance got there, Xander truly didn't know if she had ay chance to live.

Once Buffy was rushed into the ER and then sent immediately to the O.R. for operation, Xander took it upon himself to call everyone that needed to know. He hesitated for a moment before calling Giles, not sure whether or not Buffy would be happy to see him, but eventually he decided that Giles deserved to know what had happened. Within half an hour Oz, Willow, Mrs. Sanders, and Giles were all in the waiting room with him and now all that they could do was wait to see what would happen.

Mrs. Summers was crying into Giles shoulder, who was looking very pale himself, Willow was wringing her hand as Oz hugged her shoulders, and Xander was pacing the waiting room, all of them praying that Buffy would be okay. When the doctor finally came out of the OR to see them five hours later, the room fell deathly silent. "Is she…will she be okay?" Joyce asked in a small voice as Giles began to polish his glasses with fervor unknown to man, "She's going to be fine," the doctor said as everyone let out an audible breath that they had been holding, "It was close, she lost a lot of blood, but she's going to be fine. She'll need a good deal of recovery time and rest. Luckily whatever went into her back missed any internal organs, since that is the case, she will probably need to stay here for about a week."

From there, the doctor proceeded to talk individually with Mrs. Sanders and Giles, while the others had a discussion of their own. "This is all my fault!" Willow said with as sob, "If I had just told Giles the truth, this might not have happened" "You were just doing what Buffy asked you to," Xander said in a comforting voice as he laid his hand on her shoulder, "After all, now we have a chance to tell him and to make sure that this doesn't happen again."

"I guess you're right" Willow said with a sigh, "Of course we are," Oz said kindly, "All we need to do is talk to Buffy once she wakes up, and then we'll tell him." "I'm glad for your enthusiasm Wil," Xander said with a smile, "But do you think you'll be able to tell him even if Buffy still doesn't want you to?" "I'll have to" Willow said with determination, "That's my girl" Oz said as he gave her shoulders a squeeze.

Two days later, Buffy woke up shaking and crying. It was the first time that she had opened her eyes since she was injured, and her mother was at her side immediately babying her and comforting her. "Willow, I have to see Willow" Buffy said as she tried to sit up and then gasped at the pain in her side, normally she would be much better by now, but not since she lost her slayer healing. After cuddling her for a few more minutes, Joyce finally left to go get Willow.

Twenty minutes later Willow came into Buffy's hospital room with a worried look on her face, "What is it, what's wrong, your mom said that the first thing you said was that you needed to see me" "Yes Willow" Buffy said with a sigh, "I did ask to see you, nothing's wrong though, at least nothing new." "I, I don't understand" Willow said trying to figure out why Buffy had needed to see her so urgently, "I can't live like this Wil," Buffy said as Willow finally figured out what Buffy was talking about, "He has to know,"

"Oh Buffy," Willow said in admiration, "I'm so glad you're finally ready…" "I'm not," Buffy said cutting her off, "I still can't tell him, I spent the last two days dreaming about that day, I can't bring myself to relive it yet again," "Then what do you want me to do?" Willow asked in a confused voice, "I want" Buffy whispered in a pained voice "I want you to show him the memory."

"Are you sure Buffy?" Willow asked concerned for her friend's well being, "If I show him the memory, I can't cut anything out, nothing." "I know," Buffy said with a sigh, "But he has to know, and I really am not ready to tell him, I might not ever be ready to tell him" "I understand" Willow said as she placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder, "This was way to close a call and I don't want to lose you just because we might decided not to tell Giles the truth, and he wouldn't be able to fix your slayer strength. I'll go tell him now before anything else has a chance to hurt you."

"Thanks Willow," Buffy said as she squeezed her friend's hand before she left, "Oh and Wil" "Yes, Buffy?" Willow asked from the door, "Please go with him into the memory, I don't think that he could handle it on his own." "I'll go with him Buffy, you just rest up to try and regain your strength the old fashion way" "Alright" Buffy said as she watched her friend go, full of anticipation about how her loyal watcher would react to the news he was about to receive.

"Giles?" Willow said as she walked into the library, looking for him, "Are you in here?" "What? Oh yes," Giles said as he woke up, picking up his face from the book that he had fallen asleep on top of and immediately going into worry mode, "What is it Willow, has something happened to Buffy? Did her condition change? Is she alright?"

"One question at a time," Willow said with a laugh, "Yes, her condition did change, but she's fine" Willow hurriedly added when she saw the panicked look on Giles' face, "She woke up from her coma and the doctors say that she's going to be just fine. She will probably be able to come home in a couple of days." "That's great" Giles said as she stood up, "I should go see her immediately," "Not so fast" Willow said as she held up her hand, motioning for him to stop, "There's something that I need to show you first. Something that she needs me to show you"

"Yes?" Giles said with a confused look as he sat back into his seat, "What is it?" "Well," Willow said as she worked on building up her nerve to tell him, "It's got to do with the reason that Buffy has been acting so weird lately," "Yes" Giles said as he leaned forward in his chair, suddenly very interested in what she had to say, "She allowed me to take a copy of her memory when she was first in the hospital after the incident…"

"Willow," Giles said as he jumped out of his chair, "That is entirely too dangerous a form of magic for you to be practicing! And what do you mean by incident?" "Okay," Willow said with a sigh, "First of all, the only reason that I did that magic was in case something like this happened and she wouldn't be able to tell you the truth. And it's a good thing that I did it, because she certainly isn't ready to tell you the truth and you really do need to know so that we can fix her slayer healing. As far as the incident goes, why don't I just show you okay?"

"Alright Willow," Giles said as he lowered himself back into his seat, but be careful, this is dangerous magic you're dealing with." "Alright," Willow said with a nod as she began to work the magic, creating a floating mist that was Buffy's memory, "Now all you need to do is stay relaxed and the magic will pull you into the memory. Now I know what we are about to see from Buffy's telling of it, but I haven't seen it myself, so unfortunately I cannot prepare you for whatever we may see." Feeling very nervous from her last comment, Giles felt himself being pulled away from the library and into the memory.


End file.
